10 Embarrassing Things NOT to Include in a Resume

When it comes to putting together your resume many people do it wrong. They include stuff that doesnt really belong. In this article you will learn from the painful mistakes of others, and how to avoid these major resume fouls.

1. Questionable Email Addresses

'IluvmyPony' might have seemed like a cute email handle when you opened your first AOL account when you were 12, but it's not so great when you're 25 and applying for a job as an account manager. In the same vein, 'HotStudinGeorgia' might have worked when you were     perusing online dating sites in college, but it's not going to help you land a job at that great advertising agency.

All of this may seem like common sense, but HR departments and hiring managers report continually receiving resumes with email addresses that are, unintentionally (hopefully) obscene, childish, or just plain strange.

2. Qualifications that aren't Really Qualifications

Take a look at your resume. If you see any one of the following items on your resume, please seriously consider making major changes:

* Computer Literate
* Trained in Lotus 123
* Type 45 WPM
* Experience Using Windows 98
* I was a _______________________ in high school (if it has been more than 4 years since you graduated)
* People Person
* Employee of the Month (6 years ago)
* Works with People
* High School Graduate (When applying for any position requiring a college degree)

Human resource managers report receiving resumes with qualifications that are either outdated,  or that are simply things that any normally functioning person can do. Remember that qualifications are supposed to make you stand out in GOOD way.

3. Appalling Spelling Word Misuse and Grammar Mistakes

Have you ever read something that was so full of spelling and grammar mistakes that the document looked like a sea of squiggly red spell-check lines? Hiring managers and HR folks have the displeasure of dealing with this all of the time. Some of the biggest culprits in these sins against the written word are, unfortunately, job seekers. If there was one document where you would think that people would take the time to thoroughly proofread, wouldn't it be the     resume? Yet, people submit resumes that misuse words (apost to vs. supposed to?), demonstrate a clear lack of knowledge of the difference between your and you're, and otherwise show an astounding lack of any grasp of the English language.

4. Attempts to be Unique Attention-Grabbing

Here are some ways in which you can make your resume stand out:

      1. Be good at what you do and build up an impressive work history
      2. Attend and graduate from a competitive school
      3. Win some work related accolades
      4. Format your resume so that it's easy to read
      5. Use a professional service to write your resume
      6. Include a few keywords that are relevant to your career

Here are some things that will make your resume stand out the next time the HR department is having cocktails and sharing war stories about the most ridiculous resumes they have ever  seen (yes, these are all things people have done):

      1. Including any sort of clip art or cartoon images
      2. Giving yourself cutesy, made-up job titles
      3. Writing your resume in the form of a poem
      4. Including text that is upside down, sideways, or backwards
      5. Comic Sans Font

5. Eye Roll Inducing Objective Statements

Let's ignore the fact that objective statements are unnecessary and dated. After all, a well-written one won't do you  any harm. However, an objective statement that is strangely worded, pompous, or seemingly unrelated to the job for which you are applying is going to induce snickers, not gasps of awe. If you insist on including an objective statement, steer clear of the following mistakes:

* Stating that your objective is to be a singer when you are applying for a job in customer service
* Using words such as triumph or dominate
* Stating that you are going to lead the organization if you are an entry-level candidate
* Sports references

6. Inappropriate Links

If you want to impress the person reading your resume, you should definitely include links to your blog, web page, and social media accounts. However, this is true only if these are directly         related to your profession. Unfortunately in this new age of oversharing, there is a new trend of job candidates including links to websites and social media accounts that are completely personal and not in any way career related. A final note, if you have a resume that you have not updated in a while, please take the time to verify that any links you have included still work and that they lead where you intend them to lead.

7. Exaggerated Job Descriptions and Titles

The fact that people do this is appalling. It's as if they believe that the people reading their resumes are incapable of picking up a telephone or sending an email to verify information, and completely lacking in common sense. Remember, there is nothing embarrassing about working as a clerk in a grocery store while you were in college. There are however, many embarrassing things about claiming to have been the grocery department manager.

8. Including Uncomfortable Personal Information

Human resources staff and other hiring authorities are always appalled when they receive resumes containing personal information. Personal stats such as your marital status, height, weight, disabilities, or medical conditions do not belong on your resume.

9. Making Up Work and Educational Experience

Here are some things job seekers have tried and failed to claim on their resumes:

* Claiming to have been a top executive at a company that never existed.
* Claiming to have a degree from a college that had closed down two decades before
* A 22 year old insisting he had a decade of experience in manufacturing

10. Resume Malapropisms

Using big words can show intelligence and a wide ranging vocabulary. It can also make you look foolish. Here are a few examples.

* Finding solutations to big problems
* Manged a staff of 20
* Consistently got results in spite of working an erotic schedule
Eventually, it’s better to do fundamental research and write really worthy resume. All in all, you have to be ready for the interview where a lot of options where you can disgrace as well. So, it's better to prepare speech in advance. Good luck.

Author: John Unger. I'm a writer, journalist and traveler. I live across the pond, in Manchester. I’m looking for personal development and my profession gives me that. I write about things that matters for me and for a wide range of readers. I have my own blog at Assignment Mountain. You can follow me in Twitter,Facebook or Google+

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